‘Tell me have you ever really – really, really ever loved a woman?’

4th February 2015
I am jealously guarding my soul
22nd January 2015
Love brewed in an African pot
6th February 2015

With eleven days to Valentine’s Day, allow me to indulge the men first who bear the greatest burden of the day, in order to give them ample time for planning.

I begin with the lyrics of a famous song  released by one Bryan Adams in 1995 (the awesome year).

“Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman”

To really love a woman
To understand her – you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought – see every dream
N’ give her wings – when she wants to fly

Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
– really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you –
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her – really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that you’ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really –
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith – hold her tight
A little tenderness – gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman…

‘When you love a woman, you tell her that she’s the one’
‘Let her hold you til ya know how she needs to be touched’
When a man loves a woman, he is truly affectionate towards her. This crosses all cultural, economic, geographic or education divides. Any man in his capacity through his actions can accord his woman real love. I will not go into the details as the ways to show affection are as diverse as humanity itself and as unique as each relationship in the planet. Question is, why do these acts of affection dwindle with the passage of time in many a relationship? Is it because not enough love is being brewed in the woman’s pot?
 
Gentlemen, when was the last time you surprised your sweetheart with a lunch invite smack in the middle of the week? Would you rather be caught dead than be seen walking clutching a bouquet of flowers? Is one stem of a rose too much to ask for, for the leading lady in your life? When was the last time you gave her a genuine compliment – every woman needs the reassurance that though she may not be Miss World, but to her man she is his world, his true first lady.
 
‘When you love a women, you tell her that she’s really wanted, you tell her that she’s the one.’
I am reminded of the young gentleman, I met him in the early nineties. He would rush to the nearest phone booth faithfully each Saturday and would speak for hours on end with his then  love struck girlfriend, asking her for very minute detail of her life. Well guess what, I passed the mentioned couple  in traffic this morning both focused on the windscreen with not as a much as a side glance to each other.
 
Fast forward to a week before Valentine’s Day 2015, a trusted source confirmed to me that the pretty love struck girl now turned ‘woman of the house’ can barely get a word from her ‘the man of the house’. The boyfriend of yesteryear would rather watch rematches of last year’s World Cup than listen to his beloved’s day’s escapades.
 
When a man truly loves a woman, he will make time to talk to her and not just hear her words but truly listen to what she is saying in between the lines.
 
‘You’ve gotta breathe her- really taste her. Till you can feel her in your blood’ 
Trust, openess and honesty are key in every relationship. My brother is your word your bond? Are you truly open about your past where you are at now or even with plans you hold for the future?
Women thrive in an environment of security. When a man truly loves a women, he will disclose fully what needs to be disclosed. Can your other half share her hopes, dreams and aspirations with you? Or are you the type of man quick to trash any idea that she may have.
 
 
‘When you can see your unborn children in her eyes.’
When a man truly loves a woman, he will make quality and quantity time for the family that they have created together.
 
The following scenarios are replicated, over and over in our society-
– Children walking to church only with their mothers.
-Women are the majority in most parenting classes, prizing giving days.
Gentlemen, when was the last time you took your children to that plot that you are developing, to show them the value of investment planning? Rather than spend hours in the golf course, when was the last time you spent time with your son at the practice range?
Family time should be incorporated into your schedule.
The best lover is a present boyfriend, husband or father.
 
One key thing that Bryan Adams may have  forgotten is that ‘when a man truly loves a woman, he is able to provide financially and give a general life of comfort to her’.
True there are tempests in life, but when all factors are held constant, every woman, however educated, liberated and modern she may be will be endeared to a  man who has financial security and at the bare minimum should be able to take care of himself. Remember matters money, have been the cause of the breakdown of many a relationship.
 
Gentlemen,
‘So tell me have you ever really – really really  ever loved a woman?’
 
©
Kwambie Nyambane,
 
February, 2015.
 
 
 
Kwambie Nyambane
Kwambie Nyambane
Kwambie Nyambane is a Sales Force Effectiveness Manager in a leading bank in Kenya ‘by ', a passionate inspirational blogger 'by night'; and a wellness enthusiast championing healthy lifestyle choices. The founder and lead writer of this blog is a Bsc. Food Science and Post -Harvest Technology graduate of the Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, Kenya, holds an MBA in Marketing from the University of Nairobi and is currently pursuing a PhD in Business Administration from the University of Nairobi. Kwambie is a member of Bloggers Association of Kenya. She believes in taking life with a big spoon, seeing the cup always as half full, and enjoying the scenery in this journey called life. Kwambie is mother to one beloved son nicknamed "The Champ";, sister to Marci and beloved auntie to the A & Z girls. She and her family make Nairobi City, Kenya their home. This blog is dedicated to her parents Moraa and Nyambane for their awesome inspiration in her formative years, for being her pillar of strength through life, her siblings Marci and Joash, and to her son "The Champ" and her nieces who represent the generation that came after her. May the nuggets contained in this blog serve many generations, the world over to come.

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