We share the same heritage….my sister, my brother..
Shared the same house, school, and the warmth of our parents…my sister, my brother.
I saved you from the bully in the playground those many years ago and you me the fury of the landlady for those three months that I could not pay the rent.
We spent hours into the night sharing our childhood dreams and aspirations in our little hut in the village.
You were the best man in my wedding my brother, as they gave away my sweetheart to me.
Though younger than me…. you excelled in life…. emerged the darling of the family when you put our family name in the stars. I the family Entertainer ..…you the Magdalene serving the guests without notice from the kitchen.
Though more successful than me in the eyes of the world, not once did you despise me or look down on me when my life took a turn for the worse. When my body took a beating from the drugs that I had pumped into my body to rescue me from the misery… you hugged me and held me tight needle pricks and all, my brother.
You had no shame in your gleaming Mercedes driving down the dusty road to the rehabilitation centre to share another sunset with me.
You gave me hope when there was none.
You did not castigate me for the crazy mistakes that I had made.. you still saw the potential in my soul in our similar looking Chinese eyes. Yes, the eyes that we got from Mama’s side.
Though we were ‘twins’ in physical appearance.. .. you took Papa’s introverted nature, I the life of the party from Mama’s side.
When all my friends.. ran off helter and skelter.. you stood by me …my sister.
They say the first born is the pillar of the family.. you defied all odds ..younger than me; took charge and saved our family from despair.
You showed no adult hostility towards me.. though I got the best of everything in our childhood lives.. you the ‘hand me downs’…my sister, my brother.
You will never know.. our last born how your wit and humor helped me pull through the dungeons of despair…in that far flung rehabilitation centre in Asumbi town.
You took the gamble on me and held my hand, walked the walk, talked the talk with me ….my brother.
Today as we lay you to rest..as I look at my life’s story I thank you for:
– Being patient with me, in the good times and bad times.
– Not striving to change me,, but accepting me for my weaknesses and strength.
– Speaking my language.
– Showing me tough love….. setting the limit when you realized I had borrowed and never repaid one too many a dime, being brave enough to tell me that my life needed to change.
Showing me God’s grace from a brother’s heart.
Today, I hold your children’s hands and show them the meaning of what it means to love a sister, a brother until the end of time.
That despite their birth order and the stereotypes that it has bequeathed them, besides society’s and family expectations from them, besides any conflicts that may arise in future, that they will rise above them all and carry own your legacy..cherish their mother until her last grey hair, learn to put their feet down and show the tough love that you showed me, be comfortable in their own skin and celebrate their siblings conquests.
Because the link of a sister or a brother is beyond a lifetime. my sister, my brother.
Rest in Peace, forever Mate, until we meet again.
©
Kwambie Nyambane,
March 2015.