Relationships with the In-Laws

8th August 2017
A Tribute to Jack, My Husband at the Brink of Forty
12th September 2017

Relationships with the In-Laws

This advice was obtained from the site, “ Focus on the family.”

You owe your in-laws consistent civil behaviour.

Your in-laws are not just anyone. They are connected to your spouse through genetics, history and psychological dynamics.

If you have conflict with your in-laws your spouse may feel caught in the middle.

If you feel in-laws are intruding into your married life you need to set boundaries.

Honoring ones parents applies to in-laws: patience, kindness, gentleness and respect.

Honoring does not mean:

  1.  Submerging all your feelings, desires and preferences in the service of doing things their way.
  2. It doesn’t mean that you permit them to disrespect, control or manipulate you for their selfish needs.
  3. It doesn’t mean obeying all their parental requests or requirements.
    Sometimes the most honoring thing is to diplomatically say “No.”

The in-law conflicts become more complicated when a spouse sides with his parents. If a spouse is to dependent upon his or her parents that needs to be addressed in a straight forward way.

To maintain civility with our in-laws we are advised to:

  1. Be proactive in strengthening our relationships.
  2. Don’t compete with other family members.
  3. Refocus your perspective by looking for the positive.
  4. Accept reality.
  5. Remain calm even if angry and frustrated.
  6. Smile. Remain positive.
  7. Be considerate. Is what I am going to say going to build up or tear down? Avoid ridiculing or humiliating the in-law.
  8. Practise restraint. No yelling or raising ones voice when addressing the in-laws.
  9. Acknowledge when you are the one in the wrong.
  10. Accept kindness from others and let others be nice to you.

Finally, if all fails seek counselling and therapy.
“Wacha niKwambie Uzima.”
September 2017 – Inua maisha
Focus on Entrepreneurship and Relationship with the in-laws.
Source: Focus on the family.
©Kwambie Nyambane,

Kwambie Nyambane
Kwambie Nyambane
Kwambie Nyambane is a Sales Force Effectiveness Manager in a leading bank in Kenya 'by day', a passionate inspirational blogger 'by night'; and a wellness enthusiast championing healthy lifestyle choices. The founder and lead writer of this blog is a Bsc. Food Science and Post -Harvest Technology graduate of the Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, Kenya, holds an MBA in Marketing from the University of Nairobi and is currently pursuing a PhD in Business Administration from the University of Nairobi. Kwambie is a member of Bloggers Association of Kenya. She believes in taking life with a big spoon, seeing the cup always as half full, and enjoying the scenery in this journey called life. Kwambie is daughter to Lilly Moraa and James Nyambane, mother to one beloved son nicknamed "The Champ"; sister to Marci and beloved auntie to the A & Z girls. She and her family make Nairobi City, Kenya their home. This blog is dedicated to her parents Moraa and Nyambane for their awesome inspiration in her formative years, for being her pillar of strength through life, her siblings Marci and Joash, and to her son "The Champ" and her nieces who represent the generation that came after her. May the nuggets contained in this blog serve many generations, the world over to come.

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