Relationships with the In-Laws
This advice was obtained from the site, “ Focus on the family.”
You owe your in-laws consistent civil behaviour.
Your in-laws are not just anyone. They are connected to your spouse through genetics, history and psychological dynamics.
If you have conflict with your in-laws your spouse may feel caught in the middle.
If you feel in-laws are intruding into your married life you need to set boundaries.
Honoring ones parents applies to in-laws: patience, kindness, gentleness and respect.
Honoring does not mean:
- Submerging all your feelings, desires and preferences in the service of doing things their way.
- It doesn’t mean that you permit them to disrespect, control or manipulate you for their selfish needs.
- It doesn’t mean obeying all their parental requests or requirements.
Sometimes the most honoring thing is to diplomatically say “No.”
The in-law conflicts become more complicated when a spouse sides with his parents. If a spouse is to dependent upon his or her parents that needs to be addressed in a straight forward way.
To maintain civility with our in-laws we are advised to:
- Be proactive in strengthening our relationships.
- Don’t compete with other family members.
- Refocus your perspective by looking for the positive.
- Accept reality.
- Remain calm even if angry and frustrated.
- Smile. Remain positive.
- Be considerate. Is what I am going to say going to build up or tear down? Avoid ridiculing or humiliating the in-law.
- Practise restraint. No yelling or raising ones voice when addressing the in-laws.
- Acknowledge when you are the one in the wrong.
- Accept kindness from others and let others be nice to you.
Finally, if all fails seek counselling and therapy.
“Wacha niKwambie Uzima.”
September 2017 – Inua maisha
Focus on Entrepreneurship and Relationship with the in-laws.
Source: Focus on the family.