We hope that March 2019 is going on well for all our readers from us at Wacha niKwambie blog, Kenya. This month I am musing on, “Lessons I learned from my mother.” My mother played a fundamental role in my life. I wish to Give Back and Pay it forward by sharing some of the morsels gained from age old wisdom and life experiences with my mother simply Mummy to me but Moraa to the rest of the world. Lessons not learned from any college or university course but from the school of life and from the experience as the daughter to my beloved mother.
Lesson 1: If you are blessed with children make them feel loved and valued
To be honest, my mother intimidated me a little bit as a little girl. You know every little girl would like to be called beautiful. My mother is a natural beauty and I looked nothing like her when growing up. She has the most beautiful caramel colored skin from head to toe, what we locally refer to in Kenya as “kayellow yellow” my skin is however a few is a few shades darker than hers. Her hair cushitic, so naturally soft, ‘woi’mine unless it was blow dried was so hard to comb and was the cause of many tears in our humble abode on Sunday morning as she prepared us for Sunday School as she gently tried to style my hair with those metallic combs that were so much in fashion in the ’80s. She loved all the feminine stuff and excelled in cooking, knitting, etc This ]feminine stuff does not come naturally to me and it is stuff I have had to intentionally teach myself over the years. When I was young I much preferred arguing and having debates with my father, reading the newspaper like a textbook over trying out a new recipe with her in the kitchen. My mother is gently assertive. Kwambie on the other hand a little bit stubborn, opinionated and a chatterbox par excellence. As a little girl. I would sometimes wonder whether we are truly related. On a lighter note, had I not looked like my father I may have been suspected to have been switched at birth.
But despite the apparent physical and personality differences between us, as different as night is to day, my mother always made me feel loved, precious and beautiful as a little girl. And at 41 years young with my one grey hair, she still does. Parents we have special treasures called children, let us love them and embrace them as God created them.
Lesson 2: Provide guidance and pass on values to your children
When I became a young lady she became more accommodating of high hemmed skirts and dresses , never mind that she wore mini skirts in her youth she would advise me, “Lissie these are different times, I will not let you wear extreme short skirts out of my house.” We struck a compromise however when she let me wear skirts at most about four inches above my knee cap to show off what she gave me, the only feature I have in common with her – my legs.
Her favourite Bible chapter to me was Proverbs 31 and when puberty hit, she took time out to read it to my sister and I and explain the concepts. I found the reading a bit remote, the Bible chapter was about a wife of noble character and I was not even sure what I felt about boys then. My mother’s intention in highlighting this Bible chapter to us was with good intention. The Proverbs 31 woman focuses a lot of her beauty in prepping her internal beauty, building her skill set, embracing certain values over and above the physical beauty of women. That type of beauty ladies and gentlemen my mother affirmed will never go out of style.
Lesson 3: Selfless love, unconditional love, the type of love that does not expect anything in return
My mother taught me that when you truly love someone, your spouse or partner, you love them warts and all, with all they bring to the table and their baggage too. Through ups and down. Selfless love. You bring out the best in them. Help them in fulfilling their life’s ambitions, while minimizing their faults. I remember her ironing my father’s shirts (‘woi’ Mummy teach me how to love ironing men’s shirts), laying out his outfits for his program “Professional View” week after week after week without complaining. She was the unsung heroine behind my father’s success, her name would never show in the TV program credits, “wardrobe by Mama Kwambie” yet she played a pivotal role to build my father.
When Daddy was down, whether financially or whateverwise, she never put him down but stepped in, covered up for him, we as family never got to know. He always remained the leader at our home.
Many a time I could listen into my parents’ conversations as Daddy normally used her as his sounding board for his numerous ideas. When Daddy proceeded for his studies in a foreign land to up his game you would never imagine that our home had no father she stepped up and rose to the occasion of Daddy and Mummy to us and Daddy’s younger siblings who lived with us at the time. Things ran as normal.
God bless my mother for bringing out the best in our father albeit behind the scenes. For giving him the surge from our humble home to soar with the eagles out there and build his name, our family name and for loving him unconditionally just as God created him, warts and all until the end of time.
Are there lessons you learned from your mother that you would wish to share with us?
Keep it here for more on “Lessons I learned from my mother.” This month of March 2019.
March 2019 – Wacha niKwambie
LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MY MOTHER
Giving Back: I will be my brother’s and sister’s keeper. Paying it forward.
© Kwambie Nyambane,
To the moon and back, to the moon and back again, to infinity is the love I have for you dear Mum; Moraa. Thank you for the love, thank you for the sacrifice, thank you for being an awesome life companion to our father and a dear mother to us.