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Conversations on turning 40

Lessons I learned from my mother
30th March 2019
My Physical Wellness Manifesto as a Woman at 40
13th April 2019

I write this blog post as the first rain pours outside. Absolutely grateful for the rains they have been a long time coming.

I was recently thinking to myself when we are little children going into teenage hood,  there is an abundance of wisdom. The same scenario replicates itself a few years later when we move onto adulthood. Enter the senior citizen years, and again we get everyone begging for our attention on matters lifestyle issues yet when we mark the milestone birthday, “40” we are pretty much on our own, left to our own devices to navigate life until the next season. Enter April 2019, we at “Wacha niKwambie” blog, Kenya are inspired to set this right in a month long theme dubbed, “Things I should have known when I turned 40.” This month is dedicated to the last of the seventies babies who turn 40 on this monumental year in their life. More power to them!

I sought to get different people’s opinion on turning forty. These are some of the responses I got:

“Liberated!”

“Kwambie, I am scared of growing old.”

“Blessed to grow older.”

“Life has just began.”

“Not much time left to earn a living.”

Others felt scared of losing their good looks, the women more over the men and needed affirmation  that they are still “haaawt” and still “had it”‘.

Nostalgia – looking back at some wonderful memories created.

“When I look at my family, I am grateful.”

“My business built over the years is my pride and joy at 40.”

“Age is just a number.”, others said. “I am still the same old me.”

Others felt, “empowered and free.”

Others felt very much “godamn sexy”, very much aware of their sexuality and attractiveness despite   the budding grey hair and a bit of mid life fat spread.

Others were, “grateful for the wisdom gained over the years in exchange for youth.”

Yet others felt like they should have “arrived” in life by this time in terms of a successful marriage, romantic relationship, spiritual life, career or business or what mattered the most in their lives.

“I still have so much to do. Over to the next 40.”

One or two compared themselves to their age mates; with some feeling very proud of themselves and others feeling down and out.

Others had a deep sense of regret, felt rueful and wished they could turn back the clock of time, done things differently in years passed.

Others felt accomplished defining success by navigating through life with its ups and downs; having learned from their mistakes and celebrated their achievements at 40; still standing at 40, looking to the future with confidence.

Others had mixed emotions; the good, the bad and the ugly of this milestone birthday.

After chatting up a few of my people on some of the wisdom they had to share on turning forty, these are a few of the responses that I got.

“Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop living your life according to expectations of society and comparing it with society’s checklists. Define and find your own happy.”

“Do not rush to get married. You would rather be alone than in a lonely marriage.”

“Commit your life to the Lord.”

“I should have travelled more when I was younger, but I am determined to make up for it with the rest of my life.”

“My greatest regrets so far are the things that I did not do over the things that I did.”

“’I should have saved and invested more money when I was younger.”

“You are never too old to follow your passion in life and that includes having a blog or releasing your first music album.”

“My friends and family were my anchor during my brother’s and father’s passing. I don’t think I could have hacked it on my own. Have a support network of authentic friends. People who you can go out on a limb for and people who truly have your back.”

“Forgive yourself. Always. And learn from your mistakes.”

“The only constant thing in life is change. Embrace it.”

“I am determined to have an active sex life for as long as I can.”

“Friends who do not like a better version of you are not real friends to begin with. When I purposed to lose weight and get a better job, I lost some “friends”. Apparently they were happier when I was obese and was struggling financially and in this way I made them look good. Real friends bring out the best in you. Period. ”

What are your own thoughts on turning 40?

Next week we will review the physical changes we anticipate in ladies and gentlemen on turning 40 and how best to cope with them.

Once again, “Happy 40th birthday!” to all the precious humans, the last  of the seventies babies  who turn 40 this year, from us at ‘Wacha niKwambie’ blog, Kenya and a Happy new Month to the rest of us.

 

“Wacha niKwambie”

April 2019 – Things I should have known on turning 40

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