Midlife Crisis

Both men and women can experience a midlife crisis, but they experience the crisis differently. Men focus directly on their achievements, and their desire to prove their success to others around them, while women tend to fixate on their physical appearance, sexual attraction, and what they can do once their parenting duties have ended.

Not everyone experiences a mid life crisis. Mid life crisis has to do with fear and anxiety of aging and ones mortality. Many at this point reflect at their earlier hopes, goals and ambitions in life and where their lives are at now. Some of the symptoms of mid life crisis include:

1. Changes in habits, mood swings and impulsive decision making.
2. Thinking of one’s mortality, death and dying.
3. Shifts in sleeping patterns.
4. Leaving a spouse or having an affair.
5. Obsession with physical appearance, style of dressing, make up and exercise routines.
6. Disconnecting with old friends and making new ones. A desire for youthful friends.
7. Feeling hopeless and stuck in a rut.
8. Sudden change of careers.
9. Instead of taking ownership of one’s life blaming others for misfortune or how ones life has turned out.
10. Increased consumption of alcohol and drugs.
11. Neglect of personal hygiene.
12. Weight loss or gain.
13. Excessively recollecting ones childhood, hopes and dreams that had one in their youth.
14. A love for sports cars or physically exhilarating sports and pursuits that denote success.

Traumas like death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job can trigger a mid life crisis. Typically the crisis may last from 3-5years. The good news is that there are ways of coping with a mid life crisis and for some people who are goal oriented it leads to increased fire in one’s belly to accomplish more in the next phase of one life.

How to deal with a mid-life crisis

1. Acknowledge the emotions that you are going through.
2. Take time before making drastic decisions in life e.g. divorce, beginning an affair with a younger person, quitting jobs, buying a racy sports car.
3. Speak to trusted friends on what you are going through.
4. Seek professional counselling.
5. Give Back and volunteer to the less fortunate in society this will give you an appreciation of what you have and take away focus from you but to others.
6. Set goals for the next season of your life.
7. Acknowledge where you are, stop comparing your life with your peers and instead work on building yours and you for the rest of your life, to the best that you can.
8. Watch your use of alcohol.
9. Eat healthy, exercise, go for the mandatory physical check ups for your age group.
10. Mid life crisis can work in your favour getting you to seek a fresh perspective in life, redirection, acknowledging what has been holding you back.

It is good to avert a mid life crisis as it has the capacity to destroy what has taken half a lifetime to build. Just because you did not or could never make the cut for “Top 40 under 40”; for example does not mean that you are a failure in life. Different flowers bloom at different seasons. Tiger Woods taught us all that there is hope for a come back in the mid life season despite having undergone major set backs in life.

You have what it takes to accomplish what you wished and hoped for in life and more. For those of faith – God’s purpose for you can be fulfilled in this second half. Just like a football
game, half time is not the end of the game and does not mean the end score, you still have another half to enjoy. Bringing an end to this discussion on “Things I should have known when I turned 40”.

“Love and light to all who are 40 and above or all those aspiring for this magical age.”

April/May 2019 – Things I should have known when I turned 40.