I turned the big 4.O almost two years ago and it has been a roller coaster of ride in more ways than one. As I was telling my sister the other day, “I truly think I do not have any more growing up to do.” But boy was I wrong. No one told me about the changes and challenges that begin emerging in our sexuality once we approach mid life. Some of the changes can be attributed to the physical changes that our bodies undergo at this point in time, the emotional changes, the attitudes and the beliefs that we have held regarding our sexuality over a period of time regarding aging and sexuality.
Sadly, many of these beliefs regarding sexuality are myths that hold us back from enjoying the best sex life yet as we grow older. This week we continue with the month of July 2019 focus area, “I ain’t too old for some good lovin’”, a focus on sexual wellness for the older adult, we address some of the myths regarding sexuality after mid life.
The myths are obtained from an article I read Sexuality and Aging this past week from Harvard Health Publishing – Harvard Medical School.
Myth: Only the young are sexually attractive Sadly when some people celebrate their 40th, 50th, 60th or even 70th birthday they think that
they can never appeal sexually to anybody and try and quash all sexual thoughts from their mind.
Sadly, when they realize the physical changes that come with the blessings of a longer life e.g. a rounder physique, grey hair, a few more wrinkle lines they compare their physical bodies with that of their youthful years and feel that it is over for them in matters sexual.
The reality: Older can be quite sexy.
Yet, even as we grow older and begin to age there are those innate and certain physical characteristics that do not fade with time; if you were a tall lady or man you will always be tall, if you were short you will always be short, if you have lovely legs they will always be lovely legs, your innate personality rarely changes. If you were cool, calm and collected, deep and reflectful chances are you are still the same today, if you were bubbly and happy go lucky, talkative even in your 40s, 50s and 60 you will still be the life of the party as you grow older. There are things that defy the passage of time and you will always be attractive to someone else.
Fortunately, we also belong to an age of knowledge, a few hours at the gymn, lowering ones carbohydrate intake as metabolism goes down with age and adapting a lifestyle of wellness will ensure that we are always the best version of ourselves no matter what age we are.
Older can be sexy too, the lovely family you have (are) raising, the wisdom, the expertise, the street smarts, even financial net worth grown over time makes one sexually attractive even to those much younger than oneself.
Indeed, there are many like fine wine who are more sexually attractive in their older years than in their youthful years. People who are positive and enthusiastic about their different seasons in life will never be too old for some good lovin’.
Myth: Six is boring when you get older
Drooping libido, slower rates of arousal, and the predictability of having the same partner for 20 or more years all add up to a boring sex life. Really?
The reality: Sex is as good as you make it
Myth: People lose their ability to perform sexually after attaining a certain age
The reality: One can still have a satisfying sex life even as they grow older.
Though it is true that there are physical changes in men and women that may make sex harder for the older adult, there are modern interventions that can assist a couple. E.g. the use of Viagra by men after consultation with a doctor or the use of artificial lubricants by women because of vaginal dryness.
Myth: Sexuality in later life is undignified
Many believe that older people are asexual beings and that if they express their sexual desires and appetites then there is something wrong with them.
The reality: It’s healthy for older adults to express their sexuality.
We live in an age of enlightenment. Because of adopting exercise and healthy eating lifestyles people are living longer and are physically attractive while at it. It is okay if not healthy for older adults to express their sexuality rather than suppress the natural feelings that they have.
Look out for our next blog post on the factors that affect sexual wellness as we grow older in our next blog post.
A lovely week wished to all.
July 2019 – “I ain’t too old for some good lovin'”
A focus on sexual wellness
Article: Sexuality and Aging, Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond
Harvard Health Publishing – Harvard Medical School