It has been a month long journey on Self Esteem. How to boost ones Self Esteem is our last stop for the month of January 2020.
“I do not want to be the next (fill in the person you compare yourself to), I just want to be (fill in your name).”
Avoid falling into the compare and despair hole.
Comparing your life to your siblings, close family, classmates, colleagues, peers, friends and even distant aspirational figures takes away the uumph from your own life. Stop looking over
the fence where the grass seems greener and work on your own grass. The only person that you are allowed to compete against is the person that you were yesterday.
This is a tough one for many of us. Forgive those who have in the past dented your self esteem. It could be yourself, a figure of authority, an ex-partner, a former colleague, or friend or even a relative. Hanging on to feelings of shame, guilt, bitterness and negativity of past hurts stops one from moving on with life and meeting newer positive people who could add to one’s life.
Be mindful and intentional about what you tell yourself about yourself. Visualize yourself as you want to be. I am currently day dreaming of myself being one dress size smaller by my next birthday and working towards that goal. Some of us keep on hammering negative thoughts to ourselves e.g. “I am so fat and that makes me ugly”, “I am stupid, I am not good enough”, “I am too old where will I find a man to love me?”, “I will not amount to much, I come from a broken family”, “I come from a poor background”. Shun negative self talk and have positive affirmations about yourself instead e.g. “I am plus size, with generous proportions and I have a pretty face”, “I may be older but that comes with experience and hey I still have the same intelligent mind that I have always had”, “age is but a number”, “my beginning does not determine my end”, and so forth and so on. Have positive affirmations about your life.
Hype on your strengths
Know your strengths, skills and talents and hype and build on them. There is something that everyone is really good at – let people begin identifying you with what you are good at e.g. if you do your make up really well, show case work that you have done, if you are good at personal finances share with others skills on building wealth, if you are good at making people laugh share your jokes to brighten everyone’s world, if you can cook or bake show case some of your recipes, if you can sing well – begin performing at functions, if you are good at parenting share the tips with others who may be struggling in the parenthood journey, if you are blessed with physical beauty why not try out modelling, if you are excelling in the professional arena join relevant professional bodies. Don’t be put down on account of your weaknesses, everyone has them.
Engage in Physical Exercise
Engage in some form of physical exercise. Exercise creates a general feeling of well being and makes us look and feel better about ourselves.
Give Back to the less fortunate. When you dwell on those who have less than you, you do not at all take for granted what you already have and when you Give Back it makes you feel good about yourself.
Understand that you are not your present circumstances
Circumstances in life whether good or bad do not define one. Everyone has good and bad times but when one values oneself their essence within remains the same, despite changing circumstances they remain centred. Avoid wallowing in self pity when going through a rough patch in life and instead dwell on those things that boost your self esteem on the other hand avoid becoming vain, narcissistic and fixated with yourself when going through glorious times in your life, focus and Give Back to others.
Try something new that will push you out of your comfort zone
Spend more time with supportive people that build you up. Create personal boundaries.
Take care of your physical, social and emotional health
Mental diet is very important. Read books, subscribe to blogs, websites and podcasts that build you. On that note thank you for passing by this blog today.
Seek professional help
If you have tried all this tips and they have failed by all means seek professional help. Some causes of low Self Esteem e.g depression, trauma are medical and one needs professional help to pull through.
Can you think of other ways of boosting ones Self Esteem that we may have left out?
A healthy Self Esteem helps one deal with rejection and failure in life. One is able to affirm ones real worth in life.
This brings to an end setting alight the theme for Wacha niKwambie blog, Kenya for 2020, “Glamour is about feeling good in your own skin” where we dwelt on Self Esteem. Because
you cannot be truly glamorous without self esteem, self confidence and self value.
Love and light to all.
“Wacha niKwambie” Glamour is about feeling good in your own skin
On self esteem