Are you your own Valentine?

14th February 2015

She was voted, the ‘most likely to succeed’ in her high school end of year leavers’ party. Apart from coming tops in her class, she took up many leadership roles within the school community. Her energy levels were out of this world. Her zeal for life rubbed on to the rest of her classmates and she was dubbed ‘The Engine’.
However, several years down the line, she is a pale shadow of herself. After a string of failed relationships and an abusive marriage, Mkemnyenyekevu (not her true name) generally believes she is a good for nothing and cannot amount to much. She can neither secure nor keep a job and feels nothing about her physical appearance. Many of her projects lie unfinished. She is generally overwhelmed by life and hates herself for it.
She exhibits symptoms of low self esteem that are hindering her from attaining the greatest heights in life.
Though a common childhood and teenage problem; several adults suffer from low self esteem. Too much or excessive love of oneself can also be a symptom of narcissism, where one is unable to see their own failures.
It is a delicate balance.
We have to forgive ourselves for past mistakes done and move on, accept ourselves warts and all for things that we cannot change about ourselves, strive to make ourselves better in all facets of our life for that ‘feel good’ factor and take with a pinch of salt excessive criticism or overt praise from others.

Are you your own Valentine?

Have you come to terms with who you are?

Remember your worth as a human being is not made up of circumstances or other’s opinion of you.
If one were to strip you off all your hard earned titles or accolades or if you lost your source of income overnight, your worth as a human being created in the image of God remains.

Strive to always be a better you. Do not be caught in the trap of constantly comparing yourself to others, run your own race. Hype on your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Get a project going on that showcases your talent and ability.

I have never been good at sport..infact I was always chosen last for the kati team, remember kati? But last year I decided to break the myth by beginning with something simple..walking. I will never be Ms. Kenya or Mrs. Kenya for that matter but I have a jolly personality, a pretty face and I imagine a fairly good dress sense. I will hype on that and be the best type of ‘Moraa’ type of woman I can be (remember Moraa of Nyakemincha fame). I am not a good dancer but the good Lord gave me a way with words.. Wacha niKwambie I will hype on that. Anyone with contacts of a good dance class in Nairobi ,by the way?

Every single human being in the planet is fearfully and wonderfully made. One of a kind. Heck, there has never been and will never be another you.

To give unto others you must first give to yourself. To love others, you must first love thyself. When you feel that your will falters pardon yourself, do not be too harsh on yourself. When you’ve fallen, pick yourself, dust yourself and for your own goodness sake keep on walking. When the going gets tough seek support from your network of friends or professional counseling services if need be.

Be thy own Valentine. Love thyself.

A blessed Valentine 2015 weekend to all.

Kwambie Nyambane,

February 2015.