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An email from Dr. Love – Managing Sexual Tension and a Focus on the Libido.

25th July 2015

Dr. Love
To: Kwambie Nyambane

CC: ‘ Wacha niKwambie Uzima’ blog readers


I trust that you are enjoying your weekend. I hear President Barack Obama is in Kenya. Things must be really exciting in that side of Africa! My apologies, I could not make it to the studio on Friday as mentioned to you on phone, I was bumped off my flight. Turns out there were very many people headed to Nairobi with the GES 2015 and all. Hopefully, I should be available next Friday to touch on ‘Safe Sex and some common STDs’  The unsexy part of Sexual Wellness but equally very important. I also hope to give a wrap to this Sexual Wellness month.

Now I will just highlight to you the key ways of managing Sexual Tension and Factors that affect our Libido. I still hope for a sit down one of this fine days.


Sometimes due to relationship issues, work obligations, disease, spiritual calling, or disparities between sexual partners, sexual tension may arise. This is particularly difficult when one has no one to relate intimately with. There are however tried and tested methods that people can use to manage their tension:

Talk to a spiritual adviser if this is affecting your spirituality and to your partner if you suspect your sexual needs are not being met.
Talk to a doctor on suspected hypersexuality, he may prescribe certain drugs or refer  one to a psychologist or therapist.
Avoid sexual stimulation in pornography, pay attention to thoughts, objects or people that evoke sexual feelings in you and steer away from them.
Engage in sports and exercise.
Pursue non sexual relationships with people. Take up new hobbies like traveling, volunteer for service.
Abstain from alcohol or drugs.
Cold showers are also said to help.
For those who are open minded mechanical objects that simulate human organs e.g. vibrators   and  dildos  can be used.
‘Sublimation of the sex instinct’ or gratification of the libido through non sexual and socially acceptable channels e.g. some altruisic pursuits like social service, teaching or intellectual, artistic, athletic or creative activities that occupy the mind.
Masturbation or self manipulation of sexual organs is  neither here nor there. With some claiming it reduces sexual tension and others saying it exarcerbates it.
Our Libido or sexual drive can be affected by several factors. I wish to highlight causes of low libido as follows:
Stress, anxiety and exhaustion.
Low self esteem that is low self confidence and body image.
Alcohol or drug use.
Lack of sufficient sleep.
Erectile dysfunction.
Hormonal imbalances mainly testestorone and estrogen. Imbalances may be caused by  pregnancy, breastfeeding and menopause.
Health conditions
Relationship trouble – lack of communication, physical, verbal and emotional abuse.
Lack of time for sex.
Some types of contraceptive.
History of sexual abuse or negative sexual experiences.

To boost your libido remember the brain is the greatest sexual organ. Be explorative with your partner, try sex in new locations, in different positions, in new sexy lingerie, convey your fantasies to your partner, send your partner sizzling notes to create the mood. Protect your sexual  desire  by exercising and losing weight. Before we even seek medication like Viagra natural supplements like Ginseng, Yohimbe, Chasteberry and Gingkgo are said to boost the libido. Kindly seek pharmacist’s advice or stores like Healthy U in Nairobi that focus on natural supplements..

Seek psychosexual counseling in relationship breakdown.

This is just but a brief on this past week’s  focus areas.

Kindly go though a few links that will be very helpful for these focus areas at the end of this email for detailed information.

Kwambie, I also request your readers to come up with as many questions as possible on ‘Safe Sex and Common STDs’ for our session next Friday.

Have a lovely weekend  and a new week ahead Kwambie and readers of ‘Wacha niKwambie Uzima’, keep it sizzling. Hope to catch up with you all next Friday!

My Best Regards,

Dr . Love

P.S. A big hi five and hug to the Champ on his first Sports Day!

Disclaimer: Dr. Love is a figment of my imagination.
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