Relationships with the In-Laws

Relationships with the In-Laws

This advice was obtained from the site, “ Focus on the family.”

You owe your in-laws consistent civil behaviour.

Your in-laws are not just anyone. They are connected to your spouse through genetics, history and psychological dynamics.

If you have conflict with your in-laws your spouse may feel caught in the middle.

If you feel in-laws are intruding into your married life you need to set boundaries.

Honoring ones parents applies to in-laws: patience, kindness, gentleness and respect.

Honoring does not mean:

  1.  Submerging all your feelings, desires and preferences in the service of doing things their way.
  2. It doesn’t mean that you permit them to disrespect, control or manipulate you for their selfish needs.
  3. It doesn’t mean obeying all their parental requests or requirements.
    Sometimes the most honoring thing is to diplomatically say “No.”

The in-law conflicts become more complicated when a spouse sides with his parents. If a spouse is to dependent upon his or her parents that needs to be addressed in a straight forward way.

To maintain civility with our in-laws we are advised to:

  1. Be proactive in strengthening our relationships.
  2. Don’t compete with other family members.
  3. Refocus your perspective by looking for the positive.
  4. Accept reality.
  5. Remain calm even if angry and frustrated.
  6. Smile. Remain positive.
  7. Be considerate. Is what I am going to say going to build up or tear down? Avoid ridiculing or humiliating the in-law.
  8. Practise restraint. No yelling or raising ones voice when addressing the in-laws.
  9. Acknowledge when you are the one in the wrong.
  10. Accept kindness from others and let others be nice to you.

Finally, if all fails seek counselling and therapy.
“Wacha niKwambie Uzima.”
September 2017 – Inua maisha
Focus on Entrepreneurship and Relationship with the in-laws.
Source: Focus on the family.
©Kwambie Nyambane,