Happy New Year to you our esteemed reader! This year we have unveiled a new theme in the blog dabbed; “Glamour is about feeling good in your own skin.” The theme is inspired by a quote by a popular American actress Zoe Saldana. To set us off in the month of January 2020 we are focussing on that all too important element, “Self esteem.” One simply cannot feel good in ones skin without self esteem, self confidence and self value.
Self esteem refers to the value that one has on oneself as a human being. Self esteem is a determinant of ones success, happiness, achievement and fulfilment in life. Based on ones roles and expectations in life there are different types of self esteem; work esteem, parenting esteem, relationship esteem, financial esteem and so forth on and so on. It is possible to have a level of high self esteem in one area of life and feel of little value in another role. Worth noting is that self esteem is not one constant continuum in life but is affected by environmental factors and what is going on in one’s life. Ones self esteem will vary from day to day and from month to month. Though high self esteem is good extremely high self esteem is detrimental to a person and is what is defined as narcissistic personality disorder. Such individuals have everything revolving around them and their self esteem is easily dented by criticism.
What are the causes of low self esteem?
Figures of authority e.g. parents, guardians and teachers are key in developing ones self esteem particularly in the formative years. If one had figures of authority that put one down constantly as one was growing up, this could have eventually dented ones self esteem and sense of self worth.
Mood disorders such as depression are also causes of a low self esteem. Very high religious or belief system expectations. If you adhere to a religion that makes you feel that you are consistently missing on meeting its high expectations of righteousness for example and consequently chastisement from authority figures it can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and self loathing.
Negative Relationships. Sometimes we give those we love trust and power over us to an extent that we believe everything that they say about us is true. If it is from a point of encouragement and making one a better person that is okay, the problem arises when it is from a point of judgement or putting one constantly down.
Regret from past choices in life. Focusing on mistakes made in life, mulling over them instead of learning from them and moving on.
Constantly comparing yourself to others. To some the grass on the other side of the fence always seems greener. With the advent of social media this has become a real issue as people tend to
compare themselves with others, yet most people put the good side of life out there instead of a 360 degree view of life.
Lack of goals and something to focus on. We need to have something to keep us inspired and motivated to achieve in life. On that note what are some of the goals that you have set for yourself this year? On the other hand setting goals that are unrealistic and unattainable. If one is constantly missing goals that one has set for themselves this may cause one to suffer low self esteem.
Trauma; physical, sexual and emotional abuse are also leading causes of low self esteem. These cause the victims to generally lack trust in people, sometimes even one may blame themselves for what happened leading to feelings of shame and guilt. Yet others have insecurities over their physical appearance and how they look; their physical features. Aging is also a concern for many as they lose their youthful features this is especially true for many women whose main currency in life has been their physical appearance.
Jobs. If one feels that they are not developing a career, are underpaid, unappreciated or are being passed over for promotion this may dent ones self esteem. The same feeling of feeling of low self value if ones business is not growing as it should.
Finances. Some people place a lot of their worth on their net worth and if they feel that they are not making headway in money matters it may dent their self esteem.
Intellect. Sadly yet others feel like they are not smart enough intellectually and this may impend their self esteem.
It is good to know the root causes of low self esteem, self confidence or self value as it is from them that we can know how to boost our self esteem. This brings to an end the blog’s musings on causes of low self esteem setting the tempo for the blog’s theme for the year, “Glamour is about feeling good in your own skin.”
Next week we look at the signs that one could possibly be having low self esteem but before we do are there are other causes of low self esteem that we may have left out?
Happy New Year once again, wishing all our readers and followers a prosperous new year and decade ahead. Keep it here for matters wellness and inspiration.
“Glamour is about feeling good in your own skin.”
© Kwambie Nyambane,
Post Script: This article is dedicated to my mama, Mummy, Zibiah Lilian Moraa Nyambane also known as “mama watu” and “mama mchele”. Thank you for loving me as I am, affirming me, boosting my sense of self worth. The best mother a girl could have. Mummy passed on
mid morning, Wednesday 11th December 2019 but her legacy lives on through the
words of this blog. I will make you proud, Mummy.