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Loving me, loving you: On dating for singles

26th February 2020

On asking my friends where a singleton could meet a potential date, these are some of the responses that I received.

“Basically everywhere except at home; let’s start with work, church. The key thing is to get out there and feel yourself, as in just love thyself in a positive way and the right people will always gravitate.” (N.M., Kenya)

“Travel tour groups, lounges , on the plane. Just make sure they are truly single lol! I have met many singles while traveling and they have become friends. Not everyone you meet will be your significant other! Have an open mind/goals.” (C.O., U.S.A.)

On asking my friends for dating advice for singletons going out on a first date, these are some of the responses I got;

“To go and have fun.” (N.M., Nairobi)

“Date with yourself first.” (N.T.L., Vietnam)

“Stop thinking too much about it!

Stop preparing too much for it!

You will think yourself too much into a date. However, your mind is actually setting itself up for obstacles to a possible relationship.

How? The mind tries to avoid everything that could go wrong.

The best relationships are spontaneous NOT premeditated. They need both the perfect setting and the clumsy fumbles. The fumbles are usually more exciting and more memorable than everything that ooooh! It went so well.” (L.N.N., Kenya)
“Don’t over-think it
Expect nothing much
Go and have fun
Allow that it could be the last time….. Or the first of many.” (K.M., Nairobi)

“Relationships have no formula its either you re in or out. So yes go have a great time and you will know what next.” (H.K.A., Kenya)

“Don’t overthink it. Have no expectations. Just show up with the mindset of ‘I’m going to meet an interesting person’ and you’ll be relaxed and yourself.’’’ (J.W., U.S.A.)

From our own research as a blog this is what we unearthed as advice for a first date;

You can meet a potential date anywhere; It could be a volunteering mission, at work, a course that you are undertaking at a college, a fitness club you belong to, it could be online indeed there are several places that one can meet a potential date, one just has to be open minded.

Apart from the typical coffee or dining date some novel ideas for a first date include going hiking, going for a picnic, attending a play or movie or a show together, cooking a meal together, zip lining, go karting, jogging or working out together.

On a first date; though first impressions count do not pretend to be someone that you are not; be yourself.

Consider dating locations that both you and your date feel comfortable in.

Go with an open mind, be confident and enthusiastic.

Do not do all the talking but listen to your date too. Related to this is to ensure that your phone is switched off during the date.

Do you have some dating advice for your single friend that we may have left out?

Happy Dating wished to all the singletons out there!

‘Wacha niKwambie’
February 2020 -Loving me, Loving you
On singlehood

© Kwambie Nyambane,
February 2020.