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My heart beats – on bringing back the glamour in parenthood of different age groups

Having a baby will change your life and routine as a parent. The faster you come into acceptance with that matter the more you will begin to enjoy parenting. Do not see the duties in taking care of a baby as a chore but as a contribution to moulding a whole new person. Babies are not accessories to make you look better but are whole new individuals; as you take photos with them where they look cute and all; appreciate the reality on the ground of taking care of a baby; changing diapers, feeding, sleeping routines, immunizations, appreciating each new milestone of your baby. Life changes, if you are a working an independent parent you will require a nanny to help you take care of your baby. A happy nanny ensures a happy baby and peace of mind when you are away.

Get age appropriate toys, DVDs for babies and play along with them.
Get a book or keep record of milestones of your baby to share with them when they are older children, they will really appreciate that. Incorporate babies into family routines, outings and vacations; they are people albeit little people. Get the older siblings to help take care of the baby. Get the wider family network of Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents to enjoy the baby and new member of the family.

The baby is growing fast; the baby can now walk, talk, try and do a few things on his/her own. The preschooler attempts to feed himself/ herself. Most of the food is on the floor. Wah
– human beings we come from far. That classy, cool, calm and collected lady believe it or not was once a tantrum throwing food throwing toddler.

Enjoy the moment, go with the flow. Unfortunately it is at this age when parents we begin comparing our child to other children and engage in some form of competition. With statements like, '"Mine began walking at eight months, how come your child is still crawling?

My Jayden only says one word – how come Amber is talking fluently?" A visit to the paediatrician regularly will capture any development delays worth the concern. Every child
blooms differently. Enjoy yours. Continue incorporating your toddlers into family routines, outings and vacations.

My child is now developing into a unique being with his/her own talent, tastes and preferences and likes. During this time the accelerated physical growth of earlier years slows
down but the child is developing socially and mentally. It is at this point in time that children can distinguish the differences in genders and prefer spending time with their own gender.
Baby boy or baby girl is now gaining independence, gaining a wide network of friends casting their net further from their family. Study and learning is now at full throttle. This is
also the prime time to inculcate values in ones child.

Endeavour to spend one on one time with each child not as a group all the time. This will help a parent discover the individual needs of each child and to share their values with their
children. Make this fun moments like dates in whatever you enjoy doing; e.g. lunch together, movie dates, ice cream dates, a hike, bike ride and so forth and so on. Have ritual times when you
can have open communication and conversations with your child.

Embrace the growing independence of your teenager and their different perspectives to lives. Boost their independence by letting them contribute to household chores. Encourage them in
their growing passions and interests. Appreciate that they are from a different generation and do not judge them for looking at life from a different perspective as yours.

Do not feel offended when they are not so eager to join in family outings like in early years. Have your home open to their friends.

Thank God that your children are now adults, appreciate them for who they have become as adults. Plug into their lives from time to time to expand your own experiences in life.
Be there for them. Adult children are still eager for your validation, affirmation and wisdom as a parent.

This brings the end to the first half of this month’s focus area, ‘My heart beats’ where we focused on bringing back the glamour/fun to parenting join us next when blog contributor on
matters mental health, Ms. Lucy Ngari, a Kenyan counselling psychologist takes us through Emotional Healing that is dealing with trauma.

“Wacha niKwambie”
March 2020 – My heart beats
On bringing back the glamour/fun in parenthood
© Kwambie Nyambane,
March 2020.

Post Script
The first case of corona virus in Kenya has been confirmed. We are urging all to keep calm and follow the advice share by health authorities in the matter. Keep safe. Keep healthy.