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Love, Intimacy & Sex in the times of ‘Rona for couples who do not live together

15th July 2020

Your favourite lifestyle blog is together with you in this pandemic times, we are like a good relationship to our followers -through thick and thin we are together.

This week we are docked at couples who do not live together this includes married people who through work or other circumstances do not sleep in the same bed everyday, people who are dating and trying to lay groundwork for a permanent live in relationship in future.

The biggest challenge for this group of couples is how to remain emotionally and sexually connected when physically apart especially now during periods of lock downs, curfews, quarantines and containments. How should they be communicating to keep the embers aglowing?

From our research – The reality of the matter is that if someone takes too long to respond to your texts, or has stopped texting or calling you during these times of the corona virus pandemic, or if you look at your chats and you are the one doing most of the talking or always first to initiate conversation, or instead of inboxing you that person is just making random comments on your facebook wall your relationship or romantic attraction to that person may be coming to an end, they are just not into you.

The converse also being true.

To stay emotionally connected with a partner that you do not live with create routines together where you stay connected. For example early morning chatting, meditating together, working out at the same time together

Take advantage of technology.

Use your phone and laptop to send messages, chat or video call each other. Through technology you can come up with routines that you can do together even when physically apart – watch a movie on Netflix at the same time, meditate, play games or even work out together. So do stock up on those data bundles and Homer Fibre networks.

Send each other explicit texts, photos or videos. However a word of caution, this is based on mutual trust. Revenge pornography is one of the banes of modern dating where jilted lovers send out to the public domain explicit photos of their ex partner. Also look out for hackers who can come across those racy videos or messages or photos.

Purpose to learn a new skill or read a book together.
Be creative and innovative in creating those intimate moments despite the distance divide. For example have someone do a delivery of flowers or chocolate to your sweet heart, or a gift delivered from Jumia, show him how you look in some lingerie that he gifted you.

Break the routine of communication to kill the boredom that can be created by routines carried out over a long period of time. For example if you normally chat in the morning why not video call at night.

Talk about what you will do together or to each other when you physically meet to create anticipation. I really love this focus area of June because True Love and romance between two committed and consenting adults makes the world indeed go round and round. And distance is a test that only makes True Love to burn stronger until the partners meet again.
Be intentional in the times spent together.

When together appreciate and compliment your partner.

Reminisce about your favorite moments.

Bolster your sex life by getting intimate physically for those who are already intimate with each other. Now to some controversy -masturbation is neither here nor there for those who seek some sexual release when away from their partner, so follow your wisdom here and what feels right to you. One should not however become so used to this that it impedes the beauty and thrill of a real life sexual encounter with ones partner. Please refer to a blog post from our archives on dealing with sexual tension.

Finally, as a person living apart from your partner, you owe it to your partner if not to yourself to obey all protocols of keeping covid-19 at bay to keep them safe when you meet again physically. So maintain the social distance, sanitize, and wear those masks.

Next week we end the month of July by looking at those seeking love and intimacy who are not coupled up in these times of the global corona virus pandemic.

“Absence is to love what wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great”.
Roger de Bussy – Rabutin