When the late President Moi of Kenya passed on last year many people came forward and spoke of the hurt and pain that he and his regime had inflicted on them and their families when he was in power but that they had chosen to forgive him. Indeed I remember as he handed over power to Kibaki at Uhuru Park, as many heckled him and threw all manner of twigs and mud at the podium he asked for forgiveness, I was there at the inauguration and I witnessed it all. Many years later, despite the pain of the past, we gave him a befitting send off worthy of a man of his stature. With that respect I am proud to be Kenyan.That is forgiveness. May he continue resting in Peace, Power and Grace today.
A few years ago someone who had really hurt me bad passed on. The day I got the news that she had died, I was asked whether I would attend her funeral and I was conflicted because of all the hurt and bitterness still in my heart.
Over time, I realized that I should have been bigger about the whole situation and asked to have a candid chat when she was alive and put it out to her -‘You hurt me but I forgive you.’ It would have set me free a long time ago. Sooner rather than later.
Over my life time I have been hurt by several people, and looking back what I have realized is that the longer I regurgitated about the situation, the longer it held me back from moving on with My Life.
Sometimes the person I have had to forgive is me for goofs I have made in this life. “I forgive you Kwambie Nyambane.” Being human I am not infallible and there are those I have hurt either by word or deed. Many times unknowingly. I ask you all to forgive me.If you feel aggrieved by me feel free to reach out to me and say, “Hey Kwambie you said/did 123 to me and it hurt. That was not right and I was hurt. Whether you agree or not, I forgive you.”
We need freedom to move from the pain and disappointments of the heart and move on with our lives….
Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator, what they did or what happened but makes the victim rise above it all and sets the victim free.
I choose Forgiveness today.
Why is forgiveness so hard?
Evolution has endowed us with the psychological motivation to avoid being exploited by others and one of the ways to avoid exploitation is by hitting back or avoiding the exploiter. Anger and hatred make it hard to forgive and instead seek ways of revenge and retaliation And yet there are so many benefits of forgiveness One benefit of forgiveness is that it heals relationships. When one holds on to grudges and pain from the past, many carry the pain and insecurities even into new relationships. There are several other benefits of forgiveness which include; Improved mental health: Less anxiety, stress and hostility Reduces ones blood pressure Fewer symptoms of depression Boosts one immunity Improved heart health Improved self esteem I choose forgiveness today.
Steps to forgiveness
However, there are times when forgiveness must wait, a little bit
Will you at the right time choose forgiveness too?
April 2021 – A New Heart